What is it inside of me that possesses this de-motivation the moment I enter solitude. Can it be attributed to the contact and appreciation of other human beings, and even admiration, that elevates my mood to a point where the disconnection of the cause of happiness can have a negative mood swing similar to the effects a drug user of speed might experience?
Do I feel so uncomfortable and so self-hating that I have to use the happiness of others to make my life worth living?
Today shall be my attempt at near-complete disconnection to society, near-complete in the sense that I wont be searching for human interaction, but if someone wishes to contact me then they have the ability to do so.
I think over the past year especially I suppose this has always happened, though I cannot say for sure which if either of the explanations it could be.
Now humans by nature are social beings, but why do I find it so hard to be in a social setting yet feel so depressed to leave a social setting, there definitely comes a point where I inevitably get fed up in a sense of the people around me and I just have to exit that scenario, but when I don't feel the need to exit such a situation, and I witness either the 'enjoyable' people around me leaving, or my own self leaving against my inner volition why do I experience what can only be described as anxiety.
:Introspection End:
