I was going to dedicate this to Katja, but it ended up sort of corny, so how about I just dedicate it to the first post in June instead?

A beautiful lover

She sets my heart on fire.

Nothing more do I seek for

Than to sleep in her arms each and every night.

Beauty in her eyes,

Makes my heart stop.

Without you I feel so empty

I just need you here right now.

This life we have in our future

I will never let you go

If you would keep me forever.

Just hold me close

Don't let go

I'll give you everything

I'll set your world on fire.

You are my everything.

Everything to me.

To me.

I want to feel your skin.

I want to be lying in your arms,

It's the only time I feel safe

It's the only way I feel loved.

You make my life perfect.

More than the value in life

Your love puts in me.

A desire for you

A passion endearing

Unending, Unbearably lustful.

How regretful I would be

If I let you go

Your love breaks my heart

In all the ways I love

I wish I could be yours

Forever and ever.

You make me feel so young

I just feel so hopelessly romantic with you.

I love it.

So Many Nights I'd Lie In Your Arms.

Our lover cast aside

By the fire in your flaming heart

Too many words to take back the way you make my heart drop.

Our love, delirium

To become what we love, I love.

You are too sweet, I just want you on me, but maybe one day.

We'll elope,

We'll run away, till the world stops spinning

This love that we share, it brings us closer, under the night skies.

I want to be yours forever.

Won't you be mine.

I love you to the end.

This is our future.

We could live your dream.

Because,

I love you.

She Is My Victoria, Victoria Is Her Name

Her love, wonderful eyes,

Looks into my soul

Devours my heart.

A whisper, a giggle,

A smile that shows

So much passion.

There would be no greater pleasure

Than to relive such a day

Such beauty embodied

This is my desire.

Just this life

Can never be stable

This is love, all over again.

Terminal.

Naked desire of frequent fires

A life that takes you ten thousand lies to expire

Too many or too few

Some would whisper

Beyond the life of a lover she will endure

No more will this impulsion serve to remove our lies

Can we just forgive, could you forget me.

No more will be defined

Behind the lies that you repeat

Some day you'll see the world in front of you

But maybe its good

When all we give

Is emotionless lust

This is just a desire

This is what we expire

Beyond our terminal love.

It Should Have Been Predicted

Well I should have seen this coming.

This is the life that we were expecting.

Nothing should be so easy.

Can't imagine that this life will change.

But this is it.

Only will it decide,

Once love is dead and gone.

We Are One

Our life is what we make it

You cannot perceive this disaster

Anymore than the fire burns your heart

She'll take you away

Before you can keep it

But don't look too far

This world is better without you

Just keep on breathing,

Hope she doesn't find out.

This is life, it's what we make it

Today more than ever

I feel like falling

I'll cut off my wings

And I'll just forever fall into the darkness of your love.

With what comes to the fold when the desire begins to bare. Lose all sense of self control as the products start to tear, this corruption unfolded by longing for destruction. Who can sense, dispense, administer without the lies.

Deception, she looks to the sky. A sweet respite that makes Victoria wish she were somewhere else. Why does she sit in the same spot everyday hoping that something will change. The only effect seems to be the dead grass that disappears everyday. Some day she hopes that she will see him. The one person that will change her life. Re-adapt, Repeat.

An art-form that makes us change with every coming day, Never do the words begin to fragment, compared to the thoughts and hearts of those combined. Victoria just sits alone, wasting her days by looking for her life companion that just continually destroys her heart.

Introspective

What is it inside of me that possesses this de-motivation the moment I enter solitude. Can it be attributed to the contact and appreciation of other human beings, and even admiration, that elevates my mood to a point where the disconnection of the cause of happiness can have a negative mood swing similar to the effects a drug user of speed might experience?
Do I feel so uncomfortable and so self-hating that I have to use the happiness of others to make my life worth living?
Today shall be my attempt at near-complete disconnection to society, near-complete in the sense that I wont be searching for human interaction, but if someone wishes to contact me then they have the ability to do so.
I think over the past year especially I suppose this has always happened, though I cannot say for sure which if either of the explanations it could be.
Now humans by nature are social beings, but why do I find it so hard to be in a social setting yet feel so depressed to leave a social setting, there definitely comes a point where I inevitably get fed up in a sense of the people around me and I just have to exit that scenario, but when I don't feel the need to exit such a situation, and I witness either the 'enjoyable' people around me leaving, or my own self leaving against my inner volition why do I experience what can only be described as anxiety.

:Introspection End:

What Began And What Ended.

What holds in us our need, our desire, our passion for living. Will she or won't she, sometimes I just sit and wonder about what could have been, with all these people I've never dared to meet, all of those pretty things I never dared explore. What brings in us this desire for acceptance; is our desire to live stronger than our passion to explore? No one can ever determine the true purpose to discovering an ancient lie, a hidden truth clouded in mystery, and I do caress the notion of loving a fellow lover, the occasional skip of the heart beat, the romantic gestures, the time old phrases and canon performances. Our life as we know it is merely a simple beat in the song and dance that entwines our lovely minds together. You always keep certain memories of your past, some of them will remain seemingly clear as day, others you'll remember fragments of speech, colours or smells, and the very special few will fade in time to leave a lasting impression of an extraordinary emotion that will be shared amongst yourself until the day you die. There is nothing that will make you forget how that moment felt, and everything that reminds you of that moment will trigger inside of you that moment that sits so deep in your heart.

The only light being the cool glow from the moon; nervous anticipation, satin and lace. Nervous excitement. A true connection, a timeless bond, a moment that will change your life forever. Twenty minutes of your life that you will never forget.

And now all that your left to hold onto is the kiss goodbye and some tacky polaroids... If they were only real polaroids they wouldn't be so shameful.

The Loneliest Day of the Year

My 20th year, my 19th Valentine's Day, probably my 3rd one realising that there's no point to it. Let's Celebrate:


Goodnight. ♥

Willfully Abandoned

She makes me wonder
How could you turn my heart asunder
You make me try
To bring us back to life
Don't forgive this
Don't bereave for me
I will endure
For this desire you give me
!Gives me desire to kill you

Pillowtalk

Because thats just what it is...


But sometimes, just sometimes, you want to come back to the pillow.

Im Taking Pansexuality Back!

What will this love amount to
Who will stay until the end
Love knows no bounds say they
But they say they'venot loved
It's al hopes and dreams
Until my honey wakes up dead
But before you knew
We'd wish for a life of regrets
Before ever meeting you

Somedays are easier than others
When all we wish for is an illusion
But between you and me
Nothing lasts better
Than a night under the stars
And a night in each others arms

Watching the time pass by
Expressing our lust
Through emotionless actions
Hours by and we'd not know our name
You'll be removed
And I'll keep on living
This night will mark time
I'll forget my desires
That I've longed forever
Born anew
Into my new life
...Fuck I Love Me...

Save The Thoughts For Paper

How do I place the words properly to express how I feel without forsaking our friendship.
For what reason would someone drunkenly admit your deepest dreams
Only to shamelessly avoid it later.
And when you react badly and self-destructive, the simple sign that they care
Is enough to turn your whole heart around.
[See the mirror in your eyes,
See the truth behind your lies...]
It's a simple solution, to forsake a friendship
I've given all I've got
I've nothing more to lose.
Who can, who will forgive me now,
When  all that I do
Is lost in misery.
[...Your eyes are haunting me,
See the reason in your eyes.
Giving answer to the why,
Your eyes are haunting me...]
If I could only see you one more time,
Everything would be alright,
One more time, one more night.
Everything would be just fine....


Why can't you feel it?
Why can't you see it?
In and out of love.... each time...




**certain lines from "In And Out Of Love" by Armin Van Buuren**

Prologues and why they generally suck.

With the amount of movies recently wishing to expand their storyline and their wallets only to find that they've ended the sequels too quickly with no possible chance to bring another sequel on the end without inventing some kind of ressurection machine/time travel device/general bullshit story that goes something like this "Hey, I bet you didnt realise that the sword went through his arm, NOT his heart therefore he stills lives haha you lose," many movie series are going ahead and making prequels to tell a story that happened before the shit that you already saw in an attempt to further explain the storyline of the characters in the future films which you probably wouldve known about already just by looking up a wikipedia page about the movie or just by watching the movie closely and picking up on all the clues they drop along the way.

This fact behind prologues means that every prologue film ends up spending 1 hour showing you some cool action scenes, 30 minutes filling in some interesting answers for possibly future trivia night quizzes and the other 30 minutes (generally the last 30 minutes of the film) telling you things that you already know if you had already watched the first few movies of the series. And if you decide to take the path of watching the series in chronological order (by the order the movies run, not the dates theyre released) then youre going to find it extremelly frustrating as the prologues generally assume you know who the fuck everyone is.

I mean, sure they can be entertaining and good for the fans, but other then a bunch of action scenes all you really find out is how they managed to make bullshit out of nothing enough to give their wallets an extra inch in diameter.